


Life Insurance

by clockwork_spider



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Angst?, Crack, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Not Funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-18 02:32:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5894665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockwork_spider/pseuds/clockwork_spider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Byakuran, evil dictator of the world, had a life Insurance. Shouichi was his primary beneficiary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Byakuran had a life insurance, you were his primary beneficiary."  
  
'?' was what Irie Shouichi's expression said.  
  
Kikyo shrugged and took out a manila folder.  
  
"Compared to the funds of Millefiore, it's a infinestimal number. I believe it's more of a symbolic gesture."  
  
He got another blank stare.  
  
"He got it while he was still in university, before Gesso," Kikyo elaborated.  
  
"Why didn't you ask for him to make you the beneficiary instead? You were his accountant."  
  
"I didn't think I'd outlive him, to be honest. I didn't think you would either, but here we are."  
  
"Oh," said Irie Shouichi.  
  
"I suppose if you want to make a claim," Kikyo continued, "you'd have to explain the cause of death."  
  
_Death by X-burner. Would that be homicide?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Byakuran's side.

He made his first kill at the age of 12, or perhaps it was 18. He haven't killed anyone yet.  
  
He's having a sandwich at a local cafe, whole wheat organic vegan, with a spicy bean salad on the side.  
  
He's at their new underground base. He likes what they did with the floor tiles, subtle orchid patterns are etched into them, it's neat and elegant. The blood of the man before him traced along the etching as it spreads.  
  
He's in a war zone clinic, and his world is enveloped by fire and the sound of drums.  
  
He's in a room without windows. A hand holds his head down as he drowns over and over. "We were hoping you would co-operate."  
  
He's in his dorm, attempting to write his papers for his engineering final. His roommate is Irie Shouichi, who had just died by his hand right about now, in some other universe. In this world they're friends, he suppose. In this world he calls the guy "Shou-chan".  
  
In this world, he's lost, amongst consciousness that weren't his own. In this world, he can no longer be sure of his own thoughts or memories. In this world, he's tired of scrambling for a sense of identity.  
  
In this world, Byakuran's phone is ringing.  
  
"Hello, this is Liz calling from Envo Banking. Is this Mr. Byakuran Gesso?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"Fantastic, how are you doing today, Mr. Gesso?"  
  
"...I'm fine," his voice said automatically, "and you?"  
  
"I'm doing well! Thanks for asking. I'm calling to inform you of a new offer we can add to your credit card account. From this January, we're offering all our cardholders an Life and Accident Insurance. We know that sometimes accidents happen when we least expect it. This insurance will cover up to $10,000 for you or your family in case of any injuries, or god forbid, death. Does this sounds like something that interests you?"  
  
"..."  
  
"I'm sorry, should I call at another time?"  
  
"No, it's fine. I'm sorry, I'm unfamiliar with insurance policies. What are some of the things this insurance would cover?"  
  
He listens as Liz explains all the logistics.  
  
"Would slipping and falling off a high place be considered an accident?"  
  
"E-excuse me, sir?"  
  
"Haha... Sorry, my friend fell off a ladder and broke his hip while we're doing a project, you see. I'd hate for that to happen to me."  
  
"Oh. I'm so sorry about your friend. That's awful! Yes. That would most definitely be covered."  
  
"I see."  
  
"..."  
  
"Mr. Gesso, if you're interested in our offer, I'd need you to consent to our terms and conditions."  
  
"Of course," Byakuran answers. He had never really contemplated death until this point, but he suppose it's never too early to start.  
  
In this world, Byakuran bought a life insurance. A week later, a form arrived in his mail box. Under the category of "beneficiary", Byakuran wrote the name "Irie Shouichi".

**Author's Note:**

> This is not funny. I don't even know. Based on the headcanon that Kikyo is Millefiore's accountant.


End file.
